A KIND OF FEAR
WHY FEAR THE UNKOWN?
~~~~~
WHY FEAR THE UNKOWN? ~~~~~
I guess there is a fear.
I haven't posted in months. I have a mountain of audition tapes stored on my laptop, and a hard drive full of half-baked, semi-baked, and fully cooked scripts that live nowhere but on a small piece of plastic and metal. They're collecting digital dust, and frankly I feel that's alright. However, some of those auditions made me feel. Some of those scripts made me cry. Hidden beneath the layers of so-so and maybe-level work are a few gems that won't ever see the light of day.
Why is it that they stay there, alone, left for just my eyes?
I guess that's the fear. One that may be outdated, but it's a true sentiment. That those utilizing social media as an artist are faux. Not nearly the same as the ones akin to the great discoveries that seemingly come from the shadows. It's a fallacy of course, yet it makes me feel a certain kind of way. Like if I were to post daily about writing, or show the world some clips of my many (and I mean many) auditions, that it would be deemed "unprofessional." It has stopped me from posting or from sharing online, for the main fact that I worry I'd be labeled as a social media artist, compared to simply "artist."
It's stupid. Like really stupid, but I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. There is a sea of artists all flocking to the hubs of New York or Los Angeles just sitting around on a bunch of work because they don't want to post it on their socials.
I am one of them.
I don't know what good it will do, but certainly it's better to post only when you're at your strongest, prettiest, most defined self, right?
Well. No. Look at Curry Barker, who posted continuously and is now living in the reality he dreamed of. A24, acting, writing, directing, the whole shablang!
I dream of that, so why not share without fear, let the world in, and simply accept what will and won't work!
Because it's terrifying being open. Having the world know you're an amateur trying to grow into an auteur. Yet it's exactly that which makes it alright. Knowing your shortcomings are temporary, as you learn, grow, and excel into the artist that you are.
I think it's less about building yourself from the ground up, and more so realizing you are a marble statue, not yet chiseled.
As you share with the world, you chisel away at the marble, slowly unveiling the statue in all its glory.
So even with this fear, I say I've got my chisel — it's time to start working.
